So i'm writing another blog post, and i know it seems like a second one in the same day but i slept in late so to me this seems like another day which is why i am writing another post to all you lovely people. And that is what this post is about. Yep, yet again i am writing about writing because that is what i have a tendancy to do while i am home instead of being in my house. I haddn't really written much this week then i come home tomorrow and BAM i just can't stop reading and writing. It is what i do at all hours of the day every single day.
Then when i go back to my house i don't do near as much work. Instead i seem to sit around and watch a heck of a lot of NCIS. Rather than getting writing done. I mean i have done a number of other things, i go to my classes, do my homework, planted my herb garden, and started to edit a book me and a friend of mine are working on.
But while i am doing all of this i don't tend to write as much, to be as creative, as focused as i am here. And i think that might have something to do with my memories of my house instead of my home. I have always done a lot of work here unlike my new house. There i am still building what kind of place it is for me. I'm creating what it will be, a house, a place to hang out, and office, whatever i shall choose.
What i think i need to do is to transform it into a place that i can focus and work. A place where i can focus. But also a place where i like to have fun. So far i seem to be leaning to one or the other. I need to find a way to the middle path even though that seems to be the most difficult.
29.5.10
Angels Fall in Love and other myths
There are tonnes of TV shows and movies out that talk about the end of the world. There are countless books on the shelves as well that talk about this same topic. Whether they be from some sort of religious stance or a monstrous creation of men like global warming, a super virus or something even worse that i just haven't read about.
Recently they have been about some kind of religious doom, at least the ones i am watching (but lets face it, that's cause i love anything mystically magically cool!). And while so many of them are very interesting, there is a certain theme i have noticed through them.
Its an issue with the Twilight novels as well along with every other vampire/demonic/werewolf/supernatural boogie-man-creature out there. That is that most of these books/movies/TV shows have some sort of romantic angle which exists to appeal to the (and i mean no disrespect except for my usual amount when i say this) "fangirls".
The more romance that can be shoved into the story the better, the more it will attract and seduce those readers who miss that spark of romance, who love to read about love. Those who want to read about love and snuggles and sex and everything in between. (which is a lot!)
The issue is that those creatures which all these romance/end of the world works of fiction create is that they originally are made in societies to embody evil, pure and simple. But these creatures are never really portayed that simply, they instead are shown as being more "human" with differing depths and amounts of good inside them.
See there is nothing wrong with portraying them as different creatures with different personalities and even have some more corrupt than the others. That idea is all good and fine because it gives stories depth, builds more character. The problem is when they stop being vampires/werewolves/demons/angels. They become humans. They aren't human, they are supposed to be a different creature entirely, and behave as a different creature entirely.
That's the problem and that is one thing that i truly enjoyed about both the show Supernatural and the movie Legion, the main angels and demons are ANGELS AND DEMONS! They don't stop being creatures that they are supposed to be. Yes they are more complex, they add depth to the story, but they do so without sarcificing those traits which make them into those supernatural creatures that i just love to read about or watch.
Recently they have been about some kind of religious doom, at least the ones i am watching (but lets face it, that's cause i love anything mystically magically cool!). And while so many of them are very interesting, there is a certain theme i have noticed through them.
Its an issue with the Twilight novels as well along with every other vampire/demonic/werewolf/supernatural boogie-man-creature out there. That is that most of these books/movies/TV shows have some sort of romantic angle which exists to appeal to the (and i mean no disrespect except for my usual amount when i say this) "fangirls".
The more romance that can be shoved into the story the better, the more it will attract and seduce those readers who miss that spark of romance, who love to read about love. Those who want to read about love and snuggles and sex and everything in between. (which is a lot!)
The issue is that those creatures which all these romance/end of the world works of fiction create is that they originally are made in societies to embody evil, pure and simple. But these creatures are never really portayed that simply, they instead are shown as being more "human" with differing depths and amounts of good inside them.
See there is nothing wrong with portraying them as different creatures with different personalities and even have some more corrupt than the others. That idea is all good and fine because it gives stories depth, builds more character. The problem is when they stop being vampires/werewolves/demons/angels. They become humans. They aren't human, they are supposed to be a different creature entirely, and behave as a different creature entirely.
That's the problem and that is one thing that i truly enjoyed about both the show Supernatural and the movie Legion, the main angels and demons are ANGELS AND DEMONS! They don't stop being creatures that they are supposed to be. Yes they are more complex, they add depth to the story, but they do so without sarcificing those traits which make them into those supernatural creatures that i just love to read about or watch.
25.5.10
So i am sitting here late at night trying to think of another blog post to write. I have written quite a few recently but seemed to have run out of topics to write about. At least until tonight, then i had a thought of something i could write about and make a great post, something that would be wonderful to read about, that friends of mine would understand all the hidden jokes and references i would make about this past weekend.
I now can't even remember what that idea was about. It seems that the idea was lost during my drive home from a house where a few of my friends live. I can't help but think about how wonderful it is that i have a car for a little while and i can drive across the city to hang out. That i can stay later than the buses run.
It is awesome that i can travel like that, but it is going to suck next year when my friends who live there are more than a bus ride away, that they will either have to stay the night here, or take a taxi back if they can't make the bus.
It makes me think back on what it was like in res where we could hang out until about 4 in the morning and then all go back to our respective beds without having to pay for a ride or drive or anything. It makes me think of the good times we had and how awesome it was.
Anywho guys, just saying don't forget the awesome times as we go into this new year. Don't let the distance be an issue.
I now can't even remember what that idea was about. It seems that the idea was lost during my drive home from a house where a few of my friends live. I can't help but think about how wonderful it is that i have a car for a little while and i can drive across the city to hang out. That i can stay later than the buses run.
It is awesome that i can travel like that, but it is going to suck next year when my friends who live there are more than a bus ride away, that they will either have to stay the night here, or take a taxi back if they can't make the bus.
It makes me think back on what it was like in res where we could hang out until about 4 in the morning and then all go back to our respective beds without having to pay for a ride or drive or anything. It makes me think of the good times we had and how awesome it was.
Anywho guys, just saying don't forget the awesome times as we go into this new year. Don't let the distance be an issue.
21.5.10
New City, New Me
So i now live in a new city where i go to school in a new house with a new room mate. Today i was wandering over to the place where i got a job to see about me working and as i was wandering down the street i couldn't help but think about how so comfortable i felt there. I was thinking about how i can wander all around the city and feel comfortable. I know my way back and forth and how to find each place that matters to me. I'm slowly learning of the hidden places that only locals know.
As i was thinking this i kid you not a guy pulls over to the side of the road and asks me for directions to the local hospital. And i knew how to get there! Strange i know but this was a big deal for me. I actually knew enough of the area to give advice to someone. True i am not a local, but i am growing into one in a way.
The more time i spend there the more it becomes a part of me and i become a part of it. It soaks into me. This makes me think about a kind of spiritual theory i came up with months ago that combines spirituality and psychology.
See the brain functions like folding a piece of paper. The more it is folded in a specific way the easier it is to fold it that way again. The way the brain works is that the more a thought is thought the easier it is to think it again. The more actions are repeated the easier they are to do again. The more you practice a karate chop the easier it gets to do.
With walking places or spending time in an area the more it begins to fit into your mental space. The more time you spend somewhere the more comfortable you get with it. (this idea is expressed very well in the book The Name of the Wind)
This is what happens to me in the city i am living in, the more time i spend there the more it ingrains into me and the more i ingrain myself into it. It is like i leave pieces of myself each place i walk, which is part of my system of beliefs. It also joins with a notion i have heard of which is that the soul travels at the pace of a camel.
I've noticed it when i have taken the bus, versus when i walk and bike. When i take the bus it makes a place seem different, closer, less real. When i walk or bike it makes the city seem real, seem like a place where it all is connected, where i notice the little things and take the time to smell the flowers.
The bus or driving a car makes it seem to go by so much faster, it makes the world like a background constantly shifting. Its a different experiance that makes the world seem smaller. That takes away the connection i feel to the world. But the most interesting thing today was then when i got to the area close to my home in my hometown i recognized the trees, remembered every turn of the street, remembered everything.
I'm in the middle right now, I'm passing more of myself into my new city as i leave my hometown behind. I'm attaching myself to new places and people but in noticing this i am refusing to give up my past. One without the other is pointless. Joined by the present it is the two of them that make us all who we are. Leaving one out of yourself leaves you as half a person. Half a soul. Half a life...
As i was thinking this i kid you not a guy pulls over to the side of the road and asks me for directions to the local hospital. And i knew how to get there! Strange i know but this was a big deal for me. I actually knew enough of the area to give advice to someone. True i am not a local, but i am growing into one in a way.
The more time i spend there the more it becomes a part of me and i become a part of it. It soaks into me. This makes me think about a kind of spiritual theory i came up with months ago that combines spirituality and psychology.
See the brain functions like folding a piece of paper. The more it is folded in a specific way the easier it is to fold it that way again. The way the brain works is that the more a thought is thought the easier it is to think it again. The more actions are repeated the easier they are to do again. The more you practice a karate chop the easier it gets to do.
With walking places or spending time in an area the more it begins to fit into your mental space. The more time you spend somewhere the more comfortable you get with it. (this idea is expressed very well in the book The Name of the Wind)
This is what happens to me in the city i am living in, the more time i spend there the more it ingrains into me and the more i ingrain myself into it. It is like i leave pieces of myself each place i walk, which is part of my system of beliefs. It also joins with a notion i have heard of which is that the soul travels at the pace of a camel.
I've noticed it when i have taken the bus, versus when i walk and bike. When i take the bus it makes a place seem different, closer, less real. When i walk or bike it makes the city seem real, seem like a place where it all is connected, where i notice the little things and take the time to smell the flowers.
The bus or driving a car makes it seem to go by so much faster, it makes the world like a background constantly shifting. Its a different experiance that makes the world seem smaller. That takes away the connection i feel to the world. But the most interesting thing today was then when i got to the area close to my home in my hometown i recognized the trees, remembered every turn of the street, remembered everything.
I'm in the middle right now, I'm passing more of myself into my new city as i leave my hometown behind. I'm attaching myself to new places and people but in noticing this i am refusing to give up my past. One without the other is pointless. Joined by the present it is the two of them that make us all who we are. Leaving one out of yourself leaves you as half a person. Half a soul. Half a life...
20.5.10
Bees and Brains
It is spring time, or it is to me at least. I wont really consider it summer until at the very least June if not later. I like the spring time, the weather is cooler, the sun seems brighter, but it leaves no snow on the ground.
The other thing which tends to come to mind with spring time is that there is new growth, and with that new growth comes, well, creatures in heat, flowers, new leaves, new buds on the trees, new plants coming from the ground.
Today while i was waiting for the bus i had some interesting thoughts. See, i wanted to just sit on the edge of the garbage can that is there and read a book.
I got passed a book called The Truth About Forever from a friend of mine because i got a job at a catering company meaning that my name and job now both line up with a character in the book.
The book has nothing to do with the story but i figured i would mention it. Anywho while i was trying to read the book a hornet decided to bug me. It never landed on me, just buzzed around my face over and over again.
It wasn't like i smelled like a flower, i listened to the Old Spice Commercial. It wasn't like i was wearing bright colors, everyone knows i don't. So why was this bee buzzing around me?
I also had spent a few minutes beforehand with a friend who was terrified of both bees and hornets. It got me thinking about why are people so frightened of bees and wasps and other creatures be they snakes, spiders, or the ones that i am scared of, rats.
Why would it be that we (and i mean collectively as a species) are scared of smaller animals and why do we irrationally worry that they will bite, sting, claw, scratch, etc? Why are we so frightened of them?
I think it has something to do with instincts. And with the way that we think we are so rational. Ya, thats right, i hope back to the idea of rationalism being the root of all evil. See, with this idea that we are thinking creatures unlike, what is at least the provailing western thought, the rest of the creatures on the planet.
Because of this we seem to fear the animals that are controlled by instinct, instead of thinking that they could have emotions or other even act for amusement. The bee today, there is no instinctual reason for it to chase me back and fourth but it is so similar to the way i would chase someone around tickling them.
The other thing which tends to come to mind with spring time is that there is new growth, and with that new growth comes, well, creatures in heat, flowers, new leaves, new buds on the trees, new plants coming from the ground.
Today while i was waiting for the bus i had some interesting thoughts. See, i wanted to just sit on the edge of the garbage can that is there and read a book.
I got passed a book called The Truth About Forever from a friend of mine because i got a job at a catering company meaning that my name and job now both line up with a character in the book.
The book has nothing to do with the story but i figured i would mention it. Anywho while i was trying to read the book a hornet decided to bug me. It never landed on me, just buzzed around my face over and over again.
It wasn't like i smelled like a flower, i listened to the Old Spice Commercial. It wasn't like i was wearing bright colors, everyone knows i don't. So why was this bee buzzing around me?
I also had spent a few minutes beforehand with a friend who was terrified of both bees and hornets. It got me thinking about why are people so frightened of bees and wasps and other creatures be they snakes, spiders, or the ones that i am scared of, rats.
Why would it be that we (and i mean collectively as a species) are scared of smaller animals and why do we irrationally worry that they will bite, sting, claw, scratch, etc? Why are we so frightened of them?
I think it has something to do with instincts. And with the way that we think we are so rational. Ya, thats right, i hope back to the idea of rationalism being the root of all evil. See, with this idea that we are thinking creatures unlike, what is at least the provailing western thought, the rest of the creatures on the planet.
Because of this we seem to fear the animals that are controlled by instinct, instead of thinking that they could have emotions or other even act for amusement. The bee today, there is no instinctual reason for it to chase me back and fourth but it is so similar to the way i would chase someone around tickling them.
19.5.10
Music and Words
Hi there, i'm back here writing some more stuff for those who have a lot of spare time to read my pointless gibber gabber written here. This one i feel an urge to write because of a conversation i had with a guy in a bar on the weekend.
See, as i have said before, when it comes down to it i am a writer, it belongs to me and i belong to it. My soul is made of words. My spirit is formed from phrases, the flit and flirt together through my mind at all time, whether i am sleeping or standing or shocked to speechlessness.
Anywho though, the guy i was talking to at the bar, he understood this in a way, but where as i focus on words and speech, he focuses on music. We talked about the idea of what came first, language or music, as well as what was the thing that expresses things better, words or music.
Our discussion became so involved that we stopped playing cool and switched bars so that we could focus on talking instead.
I have to say that tonight on the bus ride home from class i could understand his viewpoint when i was listening to my ipod. I have to say that if i was forced to choose between music or language i would still have to choose language but not by much.
I almost broke into song on the bus because the music i was listening to aligned so closely with what i was feeling at the time. And this just reminds me of something i have listened to on podcasts before. The idea is one concerning food, that people need to take their time and eat slowly. The idea with music is to sit and listen to it as well, and do nothing else but listen to music at the time.
Sit with your favorite artists, be they writers, singers, or even painters, and just focus on the art. Let it soak into you, let it feed your soul. Grow and learn as you do so.
See, as i have said before, when it comes down to it i am a writer, it belongs to me and i belong to it. My soul is made of words. My spirit is formed from phrases, the flit and flirt together through my mind at all time, whether i am sleeping or standing or shocked to speechlessness.
Anywho though, the guy i was talking to at the bar, he understood this in a way, but where as i focus on words and speech, he focuses on music. We talked about the idea of what came first, language or music, as well as what was the thing that expresses things better, words or music.
Our discussion became so involved that we stopped playing cool and switched bars so that we could focus on talking instead.
I have to say that tonight on the bus ride home from class i could understand his viewpoint when i was listening to my ipod. I have to say that if i was forced to choose between music or language i would still have to choose language but not by much.
I almost broke into song on the bus because the music i was listening to aligned so closely with what i was feeling at the time. And this just reminds me of something i have listened to on podcasts before. The idea is one concerning food, that people need to take their time and eat slowly. The idea with music is to sit and listen to it as well, and do nothing else but listen to music at the time.
Sit with your favorite artists, be they writers, singers, or even painters, and just focus on the art. Let it soak into you, let it feed your soul. Grow and learn as you do so.
Class and Buddhism
So i write this blog post at 12:41 in the, well what would you call this, morning or night? Either way it is a Tuesday night and this is when i am writing this post (and yes i know i called this Tuesday night because that's what i will call it because i have yet to sleep) and i happen to be... a little under the influence.
See, it is a Tuesday night, and for me that happens to be a night when i go to visit a friend of mine and we hit up a bar along with a few other people she knows. Anywho this means that i have had two pints tonight before i came home early because i have a project to work on tomorrow. Meanwhile i know that this probably isn't the best time to write a post that will be around for eternity but it is something i want to write about, at least since this morning.
See, at 9:10 am on Tuesday and Thursday mornings i have Indigenous studies 1000 lectures. I missed those two lectures last week because i had a job interview last week and in missing that one missed finding out that i had a second lecture Thursday.
So today was technically the third lecture of the course but for me it was the first one. The course turns out is taught by two people who each covered half of the course today. The first one wandered around many different tangents and made the lecture interesting enough for me to actually stay awake the entire time. The second prof, not so much... I managed to fall asleep every ten minutes like clockwork...
Anywho the first prof brought up the way that some beliefs of native societies match up with some eastern beliefs such as Buddhism. That got me thinking about the fact that i consider myself Buddhist but every time someone knowledgeable on the subject brings it up i become... well a little more informed on the belief system i follow...
Which got me thinking on explaining my beliefs and talking about them. See thinking about beliefs and considering them is what makes them valid, less than something to live your life by and more an unthinking guideline that becomes an inner prejudice. Sort of like people thinking that no matter what abortion isn't an option, or that the death penalty is always right/wrong when it comes to a murder.
When it comes to Buddhism one of the things that always sticks close to my mind is a statement from a book i read about it when i first became curious. It was that Buddhism doesn't say "this is right and this is wrong" but rather it states "this works for me, try it and see if it works for you".
So what i have taken from this is that my beliefs that interplay with life and existence are constantly changing and that to become attached to them is to cause suffering. To try and control anything else other than yourself is pointless and leads to suffering. These are the cores of my belief. These are the things that make me think about myself as a Buddhist. Whether it qualifies me as one to anyone else i don't know. But to me it is enough, and to me that is what matters.
See, it is a Tuesday night, and for me that happens to be a night when i go to visit a friend of mine and we hit up a bar along with a few other people she knows. Anywho this means that i have had two pints tonight before i came home early because i have a project to work on tomorrow. Meanwhile i know that this probably isn't the best time to write a post that will be around for eternity but it is something i want to write about, at least since this morning.
See, at 9:10 am on Tuesday and Thursday mornings i have Indigenous studies 1000 lectures. I missed those two lectures last week because i had a job interview last week and in missing that one missed finding out that i had a second lecture Thursday.
So today was technically the third lecture of the course but for me it was the first one. The course turns out is taught by two people who each covered half of the course today. The first one wandered around many different tangents and made the lecture interesting enough for me to actually stay awake the entire time. The second prof, not so much... I managed to fall asleep every ten minutes like clockwork...
Anywho the first prof brought up the way that some beliefs of native societies match up with some eastern beliefs such as Buddhism. That got me thinking about the fact that i consider myself Buddhist but every time someone knowledgeable on the subject brings it up i become... well a little more informed on the belief system i follow...
Which got me thinking on explaining my beliefs and talking about them. See thinking about beliefs and considering them is what makes them valid, less than something to live your life by and more an unthinking guideline that becomes an inner prejudice. Sort of like people thinking that no matter what abortion isn't an option, or that the death penalty is always right/wrong when it comes to a murder.
When it comes to Buddhism one of the things that always sticks close to my mind is a statement from a book i read about it when i first became curious. It was that Buddhism doesn't say "this is right and this is wrong" but rather it states "this works for me, try it and see if it works for you".
So what i have taken from this is that my beliefs that interplay with life and existence are constantly changing and that to become attached to them is to cause suffering. To try and control anything else other than yourself is pointless and leads to suffering. These are the cores of my belief. These are the things that make me think about myself as a Buddhist. Whether it qualifies me as one to anyone else i don't know. But to me it is enough, and to me that is what matters.
15.5.10
To-Do: Blog
Ok, so for anyone who reads this on the occasion that i happen to actually work up the will to come up with some kind of topic and then sit down and write about it in my narcissistic way and doesn't currently know that i have moved, now you do.
That's right, i have moved to the city where the university i go to is located because, well, i am leasing a house here for next year and so it made sense to live here before the school year started and get a feel for the place. Plus it is letting me take some courses over the summer so that i can get a jump on getting my degree (after all, doing a joint major and a minor is more than a little insane :)).
However as per usual my attention span has recently been shortened to less than a few seconds in length due to all of the new stimuli around me all the time. I am living in a new house in a new city without parents here to try and keep me in line, with fast internet, cable, and a PS2, as well as a number of people in the area who i know. Plenty of things to keep me busy and distracted from the things i really need to be doing.
And so in order to deal with this worsening scatter-brained-ness i am writing every single thing that i realize i need to do down on an ever growing to do list (which also leads me to a book recommendation, The To-Do List by Mike Gayle). I say ever growing because the only time that there is nothing left to do is when there is nothing left (because face it, you know when you die that there will still be stuff to do, i hope when i go it is the vacuuming).
Anywho, this writing and crossing off makes me think of a number of other things that are out there that need doing. The things that every person realizes that they SHOULD do, but claim to never have TIME to do.
Some examples from my list are "do readings for classes" or "clean/organize basement" fall into the category of things that will be crossed off because they can be done. Then there are the things that require a kind of change in life such as "watch less TV shows"(because i don't really watch a lot of TV, but i watch a lot of shows on my computer), "spend more time outside" or "make house a home". Each of those items requires more consistent work and effort to create a change.
My favorite items on the list though are those first few that go on every single list i make. They make me think of a little bit from the show My Name is Earl. For those who haven't watched the show what happens essentially is that a guy who is a prick by everyone's standards wins the lottery, gets hit by a car, his wife leaves him and he loses his winning ticket. While lying in a drug induced haze in his hospital bed he sees a guy on TV talking about karma and so he creates his list of all the bad things he has done and decides to make up for them one at a time. Anywho in one episode he realizes that he has been a bad big brother so he writes on his list "Be a better brother" and in his mental monologue he adds that this is one thing he will never cross off his list because he can never stop being a good brother.
That's what the items that are on the top of my list are, the things that i never want to cross off because i can never do enough. They are "Sit", "Read", "Write", and "Blog". These are things that i think i will never truly finish doing, there is always something else to read write or blog about and there is never enough time spent with yourself just sitting and thinking.
Think about your to-do list, what things is it missing and what does it have too much of? What do you want to always include and which things do you not really need to spend so much time on?
That's right, i have moved to the city where the university i go to is located because, well, i am leasing a house here for next year and so it made sense to live here before the school year started and get a feel for the place. Plus it is letting me take some courses over the summer so that i can get a jump on getting my degree (after all, doing a joint major and a minor is more than a little insane :)).
However as per usual my attention span has recently been shortened to less than a few seconds in length due to all of the new stimuli around me all the time. I am living in a new house in a new city without parents here to try and keep me in line, with fast internet, cable, and a PS2, as well as a number of people in the area who i know. Plenty of things to keep me busy and distracted from the things i really need to be doing.
And so in order to deal with this worsening scatter-brained-ness i am writing every single thing that i realize i need to do down on an ever growing to do list (which also leads me to a book recommendation, The To-Do List by Mike Gayle). I say ever growing because the only time that there is nothing left to do is when there is nothing left (because face it, you know when you die that there will still be stuff to do, i hope when i go it is the vacuuming).
Anywho, this writing and crossing off makes me think of a number of other things that are out there that need doing. The things that every person realizes that they SHOULD do, but claim to never have TIME to do.
Some examples from my list are "do readings for classes" or "clean/organize basement" fall into the category of things that will be crossed off because they can be done. Then there are the things that require a kind of change in life such as "watch less TV shows"(because i don't really watch a lot of TV, but i watch a lot of shows on my computer), "spend more time outside" or "make house a home". Each of those items requires more consistent work and effort to create a change.
My favorite items on the list though are those first few that go on every single list i make. They make me think of a little bit from the show My Name is Earl. For those who haven't watched the show what happens essentially is that a guy who is a prick by everyone's standards wins the lottery, gets hit by a car, his wife leaves him and he loses his winning ticket. While lying in a drug induced haze in his hospital bed he sees a guy on TV talking about karma and so he creates his list of all the bad things he has done and decides to make up for them one at a time. Anywho in one episode he realizes that he has been a bad big brother so he writes on his list "Be a better brother" and in his mental monologue he adds that this is one thing he will never cross off his list because he can never stop being a good brother.
That's what the items that are on the top of my list are, the things that i never want to cross off because i can never do enough. They are "Sit", "Read", "Write", and "Blog". These are things that i think i will never truly finish doing, there is always something else to read write or blog about and there is never enough time spent with yourself just sitting and thinking.
Think about your to-do list, what things is it missing and what does it have too much of? What do you want to always include and which things do you not really need to spend so much time on?
14.5.10
Back for yet another run....
Writing, no matter where i go, what i do, or what i learn i seem to find that writing is what i come back to. I spent the past year at a university in a general arts program trying to find what i want to do with my life. Tricky tricky challenge, as i had fled away from the idea of trying to become a professional writer in any way shape or form.
Instead i had embraced this idea that there was something else out there for me to do, something where i wouldn't have to put so much of myself on the line, hang so much of my dreams on other people. Instead there would be something in one of the various courses that would so appeal to me that i would find my future there, find what i want to be and to do there.
And in case you haven't figured it out this year has taught me one very big thing and reminded me of a lot of little things. The big thing that it has shown me is that i don't need to be hunting for what i want to do, for the goal that i feel is what i am made to do. That is because it has been here all along, that i really want to be a writer. Not for news papers or magazines, not just on the walls of bathroom stalls, but a novel writer, someone who creates stories and characters that say things about life, about what it means to exist, about the world. I want to write novels that teach people about things that i have experienced, share what i have learned.
I also have learned this year that i don't ever want to take an English course or a conventional writing courses ever again. I want to learn how to write from reading and from learning other things. I want to learn from life, read what i like and don't and then write to match it rather than dissect writing until i get caught up in the most trivial details.
It kinda reminds me of the Billy Bob Thornton movie School for Scoundrels where essentially men who lack self confidence enroll in a course to teach them to be more assertive in their lives. What happens at the end of the movie (spoiler alert! turn back if you have yet to see this movie!) is that the main character becomes a more in control of his life and more confident. He is asked to give a guest lecture on what it was like, but his response is that you don't teach if you can actually do something.
The point off of this is that each person knows how to lead there life and knows deep down inside what they really want, past all those dreams of money, world domination, toothless the dragon, an iron man suit and a number of other things. Instead past all of there there are the things people really want to do, the ways they really truly want to lead their lives.
Forget the self help books, the gurus, the get fit in a week or less machines for sale on late night infomercials. Each person deep down inside knows what they want, every last piece of it. Each person just has to get to know themselves to find it and go for it. Thats what i have done this year. That is why i am going to be a writer, because deep down that is what i want to do.
(that and i would also like to be a bartender, if you have a job opening let me know!)
Instead i had embraced this idea that there was something else out there for me to do, something where i wouldn't have to put so much of myself on the line, hang so much of my dreams on other people. Instead there would be something in one of the various courses that would so appeal to me that i would find my future there, find what i want to be and to do there.
And in case you haven't figured it out this year has taught me one very big thing and reminded me of a lot of little things. The big thing that it has shown me is that i don't need to be hunting for what i want to do, for the goal that i feel is what i am made to do. That is because it has been here all along, that i really want to be a writer. Not for news papers or magazines, not just on the walls of bathroom stalls, but a novel writer, someone who creates stories and characters that say things about life, about what it means to exist, about the world. I want to write novels that teach people about things that i have experienced, share what i have learned.
I also have learned this year that i don't ever want to take an English course or a conventional writing courses ever again. I want to learn how to write from reading and from learning other things. I want to learn from life, read what i like and don't and then write to match it rather than dissect writing until i get caught up in the most trivial details.
It kinda reminds me of the Billy Bob Thornton movie School for Scoundrels where essentially men who lack self confidence enroll in a course to teach them to be more assertive in their lives. What happens at the end of the movie (spoiler alert! turn back if you have yet to see this movie!) is that the main character becomes a more in control of his life and more confident. He is asked to give a guest lecture on what it was like, but his response is that you don't teach if you can actually do something.
The point off of this is that each person knows how to lead there life and knows deep down inside what they really want, past all those dreams of money, world domination, toothless the dragon, an iron man suit and a number of other things. Instead past all of there there are the things people really want to do, the ways they really truly want to lead their lives.
Forget the self help books, the gurus, the get fit in a week or less machines for sale on late night infomercials. Each person deep down inside knows what they want, every last piece of it. Each person just has to get to know themselves to find it and go for it. Thats what i have done this year. That is why i am going to be a writer, because deep down that is what i want to do.
(that and i would also like to be a bartender, if you have a job opening let me know!)
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