Hello people out there in the blog-o-sphere. How are you today? Did you enjoy my vacation from writing to you nearly every single day? I know i did and didn't at the same time. Turns out i need to write to you, but i will get back to that in a bit.
It has been so long that i can't even remember what the last post before this one i wrote was about... oh well, that just means i can write about whatever i want and if it ends up being a repeat i wont feel bad.
So back to the writing i go... Well as it has been ages let me fill you in on what exactly has happened in my life. I was on the fencing team, left it for school work, was salsa dancing but left it because i lacked the time. I continue to be a part of walk home, have improved my study habits, had my exams, passed a class and started a new one. Broke up with my girlfriend and continued to make new friends. Have drank and mixed drinks, yet to have a hangover at university. Tried wine and avoided sourpuss. And most recently realized just how much i have changed.
I used to be much more introverted than i currently am (don't get me wrong, i still am incredibly shy but it is slowly going away...). Rather now i find myself embracing a certain type of insanity which allows me to do whatever i so choose and be completely comfortable with it. It would be a lie for me to claim credit for this however, i instead owe this to the wonderfully amazing people i have grown to know and love here at university.
They have gifted me with this confidence in myself to be whoever i want to be, and in doing this have given me the space to grow to who i currently am (that is right, i blame all of YOU for my insanity!). I thank you all for this.
However, in the constant stream and rush of activities swirling around me i recently have also realized how much of myself i have lost. I rarely manage to find the time to sit and meditate anymore. I rarely take the time to find the random posts online which so inspire my world views. And lets not forget this blog. I don't really take the time to write anymore.
I can't help but be reminded of a quote (can i ever?) which states that sitting around and simply waiting for inspiration never works, you have to go out there and get it for yourself. In a way that is what i have been doing for myself, latching onto whatever ideas or experiances come my way to see what i can do with them and what i can learn.
But this leaping from idea to idea, from thought to thought, and action to action leaves me feeling sort of drained and less who i was, or even with the idea of who i was. And that is a mistake.
One thing i remember from myself is a quote (thats right, one i made!) which says "Be thankful for who you were yesterday for without them you would not be who you are now" and tonight i realize just how true this is. Tonight i tried out for my university's first response team, the people on campus who help out in cases of medical emergencies. If you can't tell what happened then i suppose i have to. I didn't make the cut and for quite some time i felt deeply upset by it.
I tried to play pool, or to sit and read a text book but i couldn't do it, i needed movement. And so i got up and ran across campus before slowly walking back (in negative 16 weather, i have no idea what made me forget to grab a hat but my ears are still mad about it).
If you have enjoyed reading this far than you owe that walk a thank you because it reminded me of who i used to be. And it told me that there just might be parts of that person i want to hang onto. For instance the meditation and the writing are parts which i deeply miss and so i think i will attempt to resurrect.
If i fail, well i am only human, and if i succeed then gimme the props i deserve, a smack to the back of the head and the orders to get back to work or over to the pool table.
On a side note, sit and listen to this song Man I Used to Be
