OK so back to blogging because i have most definatly fallen out of the habbit. I sent my computer away to be fixed, had it for like a week at the most and sent it away again, so now here i sit, blogging on a computer at university, missing my laptop.
It isn't so much that i miss my laptop though, it is more than i miss the people i use it to talk to. I guess it is kind of just a seeking of comforts from the past. My computer was something i had there all the time, that and my TV.
I never worried about not having a TV at university because i would just go online and find shows or watch DVDs but now i have ended up reading for most of my free time in my room. Which isn't really a bad thing. Hell it is a good thing.
But because i am not used to it, i end up missing my computer. I have been attached to that laptop for so long that when i have time to sit down and think about it i miss it. Lucky for me i brought most of my favorite books and have been staying busy all week. So i guess that is my mission until i get the call that my computer is fixed, stay busy.
11.9.09
1.9.09
Blocked in and Worried
So lately, well for a while now, i have been encountering an issue with my writing. That issue being that i seem to be losing the creativity that allowed me to write stuff that aparently was captiviating before. Now instead i seem to be stuck in writing these rants, rather than working towards writing any sort of great novel.
Now this really bugs me, writing was my talent, my gift. I feel kind of like how i assume the main character must have felt at the end of the Amber Spyglass, unable to access a talent that before had come to her so effortlessly.
I can't access that part of myself that holds those words to captivate and describe. I can't begin a new story, create new characters and new worlds. It all feels beyond me now and as such fills me with a frustration that wants to boil over.
A part of me feels that this stems from my efforts to try and become more satisfied with life, to become happier. If i am happy, if i am content, then how am i supposed to be able to pull out my own internal darkness and conflict and turn it into words that speak to the soul of those reading them?(just to make my writing sound a little more impressive)
The only solution i can currently think of is that i need to read something, anything, perhaps all the great books that i have been talking about on here, and leave my own writing alone for a while.
But i don't want to leave my writing for a period of time, leave my blog. My writing... it has become a sort of ritual i do when something begins to trouble me. When i feel stressed or angst about something i come and sit at my desk and i write and write and write until i feel that i have removed all the current issues about it, or all the relevent parts.
I write until i feel that my writing has allowed me time to see my own thoughts clear enough to move on. So i guess i will keep writing here, and i will also take time to write somewhere else, and see what i can come up with. Who knows? Maybe this is just a short stop in my growth...
How i hope so.
Now this really bugs me, writing was my talent, my gift. I feel kind of like how i assume the main character must have felt at the end of the Amber Spyglass, unable to access a talent that before had come to her so effortlessly.
I can't access that part of myself that holds those words to captivate and describe. I can't begin a new story, create new characters and new worlds. It all feels beyond me now and as such fills me with a frustration that wants to boil over.
A part of me feels that this stems from my efforts to try and become more satisfied with life, to become happier. If i am happy, if i am content, then how am i supposed to be able to pull out my own internal darkness and conflict and turn it into words that speak to the soul of those reading them?(just to make my writing sound a little more impressive)
The only solution i can currently think of is that i need to read something, anything, perhaps all the great books that i have been talking about on here, and leave my own writing alone for a while.
But i don't want to leave my writing for a period of time, leave my blog. My writing... it has become a sort of ritual i do when something begins to trouble me. When i feel stressed or angst about something i come and sit at my desk and i write and write and write until i feel that i have removed all the current issues about it, or all the relevent parts.
I write until i feel that my writing has allowed me time to see my own thoughts clear enough to move on. So i guess i will keep writing here, and i will also take time to write somewhere else, and see what i can come up with. Who knows? Maybe this is just a short stop in my growth...
How i hope so.
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