Uni-Ready

So here i am, actually writing something again. Weird isn't it? Not entirely surprising that i am writing something but it has been forever, and i seem to recall writing something during the summer about how i wouldn't let this blog go un-posted on for a long time... But i have, and i probably will continue to do so.

See, now i have stuff to do, and can access the internet at a decent pace. It actually turns out that i can load stuff within like 10 minutes! Five even! And so i find myself with other things to do. As well here at university i haven't really spent as much time in introspection as i have during the summer. Why that is i haven't pinpointed, but i haven't.

And without as much introspection, without the idea to just sit down and start writing to de-stress every single day because i am not as stressed... well it makes writing stuff actually a lot harder. Interesting, kinda like that idea that darkness brings out more creativity than light. Fits in with what Freud said about artists using other frustrations (namely sexual frustration) to fire arts, to fuel the works that they do.

Me and my darkness... well mine is still there, as deep and dark as ever, but it is hidden from beneath a towering pile of other stuff that i am enjoying in life right now. I like my classes, even if i find the profs or the readings dull i like that i am learning all about people and why we do what we do. I have got to meet a tonne of people, including people i have known only through the internet. As well i am on my own, finally getting the chance to grow into myself outside from my family.

Which adds an interesting point, apparently this is the time most students begin to feel truly homesick, the time they begin to miss all the other stuff that had happened. Now this has made me think about my last 2 years at home. I took a victory lap in high school to take the other courses that i couldn't fit or were not offered during my grade 12 year. After that i spent a year hiding from the world in my job making money to afford school. Both points are true, i was hiding because having to go out and be responsible terrifies me, and i couldn't have been able to pay for even one semester of school had i gone last year.

But apparently i should have gone. Interesting statement, i know. But the thing is, i am so happy here in comparison to all the stresses that i have had at home... I should have gone to university either one or two years ago, gone and began this whole process. Of course then how could i have known that? And what would have happened if i had gone? Would i really have been ready or would i just have been in the process of becoming ready?

Uni-Life

Hey I am back on posting, and now i have to say something from a Bo Burnham video: Hello, did you miss me? Well then go FU-"

Now that the intro that i have been wanting to type for a while is out i can get down to making the crappy blog posts you all know and for some strange reason enjoy. I am at university now, have been since the 7th of September.

And a lot has happened, i have met people, pulled damn near all nighters, eaten junk food, fallen asleep in lectures, and wasted loads of time on the internet. And i got my computer back so HUZZA! And now i have a decent internet for the first time in my life. As such i can actually watch streaming video! I CAN GO ON YOUTUBE!

Ya, very shocking idea, i know. And so i am in university and should have tonnes of stories to tell, but i don't really want to tell them all now. They feel like they are my stories, to tell in person. But i do have something i kinda want to talk about now.

One of the classes i am taking is cultural studies, it is basically the study of what is culture. Culture is one of those things that i can't define and neither can anyone else that i have seen. Well anywho it turns out the class so far seems to be the biggest bit of bullshit i have ever sat through.

It seems to me that the class is one run by professors who get there rocks off on being profs. Cruel, harsh, and judging, i know. One of those things that once it is said which seems like slander or something else which i could be sued for. I can't be, i am just stating that this is the impression i got from the first few lectures.

Then something different happened yesterday. See, in cultures i also lucked out with getting my favorite TA for the class. He is my favorite simply because... i dunno why but he is. Anywho, back to what i was saying, i didn't look forward to the lecture but did look forward to the seminar with my TA because it was actually interesting.

Anywho yesterday i actually found the lecture interesting. It was a different prof talking, she somehow inspired me to actually sit up and pay attention. Her lecture was about language and how it is formed from ideas, but how we could never truly know language because we never really know the ideas of other people.

It was fascinating and confusing and messed with the heads of everyone who was listening. The talk left my head spinning, she let us question her and answered us. The lecture had discussion to it. It had a back and fourth. She was willing to admit things that she didn't know to us. It was so refreshing to listen to, to hear a prof who didn't try to make it sound like they knew everything under the sun.

And yet other people found it frustrating and annoying. They found the fact that she didn't claim to know everything, to offer certainty frustrating. It makes me think about my own perspective. If i find the lack of a center, the lack of ground beneath me comforting what does that say about me? And what does it mean to say that we take comfort from people who don't admit their own ignorance, and dislike those who do?