Uni-Ready

So here i am, actually writing something again. Weird isn't it? Not entirely surprising that i am writing something but it has been forever, and i seem to recall writing something during the summer about how i wouldn't let this blog go un-posted on for a long time... But i have, and i probably will continue to do so.

See, now i have stuff to do, and can access the internet at a decent pace. It actually turns out that i can load stuff within like 10 minutes! Five even! And so i find myself with other things to do. As well here at university i haven't really spent as much time in introspection as i have during the summer. Why that is i haven't pinpointed, but i haven't.

And without as much introspection, without the idea to just sit down and start writing to de-stress every single day because i am not as stressed... well it makes writing stuff actually a lot harder. Interesting, kinda like that idea that darkness brings out more creativity than light. Fits in with what Freud said about artists using other frustrations (namely sexual frustration) to fire arts, to fuel the works that they do.

Me and my darkness... well mine is still there, as deep and dark as ever, but it is hidden from beneath a towering pile of other stuff that i am enjoying in life right now. I like my classes, even if i find the profs or the readings dull i like that i am learning all about people and why we do what we do. I have got to meet a tonne of people, including people i have known only through the internet. As well i am on my own, finally getting the chance to grow into myself outside from my family.

Which adds an interesting point, apparently this is the time most students begin to feel truly homesick, the time they begin to miss all the other stuff that had happened. Now this has made me think about my last 2 years at home. I took a victory lap in high school to take the other courses that i couldn't fit or were not offered during my grade 12 year. After that i spent a year hiding from the world in my job making money to afford school. Both points are true, i was hiding because having to go out and be responsible terrifies me, and i couldn't have been able to pay for even one semester of school had i gone last year.

But apparently i should have gone. Interesting statement, i know. But the thing is, i am so happy here in comparison to all the stresses that i have had at home... I should have gone to university either one or two years ago, gone and began this whole process. Of course then how could i have known that? And what would have happened if i had gone? Would i really have been ready or would i just have been in the process of becoming ready?