Depressing or Boring or Both?

What am i doing right now? Being a moron, that is what... Why, you may ask (assuming you are kind/curious enough) are you being a moron?

Well, my answer would be, because i finally have a topic for my Philosophy of Religion essay (or as it shall hencforth be known, Phil of R) and i am not writing it, despite the fact that it is actually the next assignment i have due that isn't complete... Nor am i using my time to study for Social Psychology or write my Philosophy of Art paper (it will not be known as Phil of A, it is too evil for a new nickname...).

Why am i dragging out this bloody essay for so long? I don't know. I have been asking myself the same question all week. I did the first assignment in about an hour because i was focused and didn't let myself get distracted by books or blogs or TV or anything.

But somehow this essay keeps me from tackling and i find myself doing other tasks. I have narrowed down the topic for my Philosophy of Art paper. I did a bonus Social Psych assignment. I read extra stuff, i looked up articles for another paper, hunted for more info on the assignment i had already finished!

But this paper, it needs to be done. I set aside today and tomorrow for its removal. Other assignments i have lumped into doing in a single day, or in the case of quite a few of them, doing them all in one day.

Why is this essay such a colossal pain in my keister (yes i used Google to find out how to spell that)? I could use the excuse of Nietzsche,(btw check out that mustache, EPIC) because he is a pain in the ass. He is depressing and frustrating to read because, like most philosophers, he doesn't appear to just come out and say what he needs to say. Instead he jumps around using these gigantic words that tire me out as i read him. I could say that i find his writing depressing and it bugs me to read so i have been trying to avoid him.

I could say those things because they are true. At the same time a perverse part of me actually enjoys reading him once every so often, for the very same reason i enjoyed reading Hume last year. He points out things which i found to be glaringly obvious before. Yes, i know, i sound full of it, and it may just be the way that i read these two, or it could be because i am lucky enough to come from a society whose education system managed to do a decent job and i noticed these things. Or i could pass credit to my family who raised me to be a skeptic and a critic (just ask people who come ask me for advice).

But none of this really explains why rather than just writing the essay and relieving myself of this build up of negative energy i am writing a blog post about it. I would bet that part of it is that i have been getting that urge to write again, and to write about things that i want to write about.

And really i think that is what it comes down to... I don't want to write about him because he is depressing, and i could in theory do my essay on Hume but he is the one thing that is worse to me than depressing, and that is boring.

This statement strikes me as funny but i am gonna write it down anyways. And yes it is very egotistical too, but here it is. If anyone ever actually bothers to quote me to someone else what they should say is this:

• Something that every single person should strive for in their writing is that it be interesting. It doesn't need to be creative or beautiful or strikingly original as long as it is interesting. How many ideas have died because their author couldn't present them to the world in an interesting manor?

So here i go, off to write the bloody essay, or so i hope... Wish me luck!

Thanks Roomie

So right now i just need to go ahead and say thank you to one of my roommates. You know who you are, you who lent me the book Eat Pray Love.

I went and saw this movie shortly after it came out with my girlfriend, and it was great, very well done and i highly recommend it. So of course when i saw one of my roomies reading this book i just had to ask her if i could borrow it and read it. So thank you for saying yes.

In case you all forgot i happen to be someone who believe in a lot of Buddhist practices and philosophy. Also, if you have talked to me about Buddhism before you know i do not consider it to be a religion because i don't worship anything in line with it.

Do i believe in the notion that The Buddha attained enlightenment while meditating beneath a tree? Yes. Is that worship? No, that is my form of faith. I believe that a very long time ago a dude sat down and just was with his own mind long enough to realize that all the sacred and wonderful was right there inside of him. I believe he realized that everything that came to exist naturally was equally profane and sacred and that this is all it is, embodying this realization is enlightenment.

That is my faith.

Does it get more complicated, complex and personal? Hells yes. Can i explain it all? Not really, i can try but a lot of it i don't think you can get. Do i think time has anything to do with whether or not you become enlightened? Fuck no.

Enlightenment is not a process that happens faster based on where you are or when you started. I think that if you are going to meditate it is going to become your own practice when you need it to. I think that if you are going to become enlightened it will happen when you are ready. And i think that if you don't keep up that meditation and examining your own mind your enlightenment will go bye bye.

Why am i going on a rant about this right now? Because my roomie lent me that book and i just finished the pray section.

Why else? Because i hadn't been meditating in... well a long ass time. And frankly this book was the kick in said ass i needed.

For me meditating brings a form of awareness and focus. It brings a calm and an energy to me. And it is really freakin easy to not meditate, to let each day slide by without sitting with myself and just letting my mind be.

And so thanks roomie, i owe you one. But that one is not another bottle of Sourpuss.

Lets Play A Sugary Tomato Sauce (Katchup)

Hey there interwebs, how you doin? Good? That's good. More and more people using you every single day? Awesome. And me? Well right now i am doing pretty good. Here comes my new blog post, a coles notes version of my life during my first two months at school:

• Currently dating a wonderfully fantastic girl that i am insanely crazy about

• Figuring out slowly what i want to do with my life and finding out that it doesn't actually matter as long as there is something new for me to do every so often
• My older computer died and i have recently bought a new one that sadly still lacks a name
• Turned 21 and feel as much of a little kid as ever
• Slowly started embracing the notion of minimalism thanks to a blog i started reading here is the link
  
• I have gotten to know my room mates much better than i used to
• One of said roomies started a blog which i think you should all check out and encourage her to write more at http://fooduni.blogspot.com/
• I discovered yet again just how important a prof is to the subject matter they teach thanks to philosophy of art
• I have renewed my love of the two areas of knowledge that will be making up my degrees
• I have become completely and utterly broke meaning a job hunt is fast approaching
  
• Met a bunch of new people as is bound to happen at the start of each school year
• Became even more obsessed with cleaning, though mainly dishes and my room
• Reading a lot, and watching a lot of TV shows as is usual
• Looking for more changes in my life
• Thinking about space clearing in all aspects and wondering where to start

Now it is your turn. If you go to the same school as me it is reading week and you now have some more time than you did before, but even if you don't take a few minutes and run over the big important stuff that happened in the last few months. Look at the good, the bad, and the stuff you want to change. Let go of the fear, the worry, the regret, and the sadness. Let go of the happiness too.

That seems like a silly notion, i know. Think about how much time you hurt yourself with past happiness though, whether it be happiness from a past relationship that is over now or a past mark on an assignment that your current work didn't match.

Let go of the past and make some more room for the future, after all if your in uni like me this year still has 6 months to go! (And if your really like me then this year has 9 more months cause you will also be taking classes during the summer!)

R.I.P. Bob

Hey out there loyal readers, hey also to first timers, and of course hey to those who wish i was actually writing this blog on a semi-regular schedule so that they could use it to eat up time better spent doing homework, or reading, or sleeping...

I know, the sheer volume of posts which i have written after a period of about a week pledging that there would be no gap that large again is probably one full third of this blog. Why do i write about that so often? Because i am simply sick of bloggers that i love to read keeping their stories from me. Of course i don't want to do this to anyone who actually enjoys reading this (all two of you, i would say three but i don't count...)

It is interesting to think back on this summer. I forget when but i had a time when i wanted to engage in a "tech detox" by which i mean that i would stop for a period of at least a week, if not longer, using my TV, cell phone, computer, and the internet anywhere. If you wanted to reach me you would have had three options, call my house, stop by, or write me a letter. As you all can guess that never really happened.

What you probably could have figured out is that i did engage in something quite similar relatively recently. See sadly my old computer Bob died after three loyal years of service and a little bit beyond. Yes Bob did go in for service on a semi-regular basis. Yes Bob had so many replacement parts that i could argue Bob would have been the laptop equivalent of a person who has basically all their organs replaced by machines. That's right, i had a computer cyborg.

But yes, during the time Bob passed i was reduced to using either my girlfriend's computer or the computers on campus that were even older than Bob. As well during this time i was too busy to really spend a lot of time watching TV. True, i did play some G O Dubs, and my cell phone was often in use.

But during this time it was interesting to note how i could so easily get along without these pieces of technology. I survived the time without my computer and frequent access to the internet. I didn't die, my social life remained alive, I was not suddenly shunned by everyone everywhere. My suggestion is that you consider doing this, if only for two or three days. Most people check their email more than once or twice a day, some studies suggest that people actually check their email about once an hour! Believe me, unless you are a prof, a psychologist, or someone involved with some kind of armed conflict (be it the police, the military, or a standoff with your little sibling) you really don't need to be checking that often.

I encourage trying to just check your email when you get up in the morning and before you go to bed at night. Give yourself 20 minutes to an hour to do all the stuff online you need to do (and consider what is a need and what is a want, 50 facebook quizzes are NOT something you NEED to do, and none of your friends really care that much that your wedding dress type is simple, especially if you are a guy). Check your emails, respond to people, maybe pound out a blog post, then shut it off and live in the real world.

Believe me, the internet isn't going anywhere, but if we all keep spending so much time on it then neither will we.

Final note, with Bob dead he will soon be sold for parts but i have also gotten a new laptop and it needs a name, suggestions please!

The Future of Here and Now

Hey Blog-o-sphere how goes it? Happy i was gone? Less headaches? More free time? Well relax, i am not promising to come back with the crazy amount of writing i did during the summer, rather i am just writing because i feel like it.

What am i thinking about now? The past... And the future.

How often do those two come up? The past and the future, the two best distractions from the present. The perfect way to avoid living in the moment is to think about these things. But at the same time how do we avoid it? The past is the best way to learn from mistakes, the future requires some planning because it turns into the present.

With this getting lost into the future and the past i tend to lose track of the present in a way... See getting so involved in my present i tend to disregard other events places and people. It isn't intentional, it isn't something i plan, and because i see it coming when people ask to see me i make my every effort to take the time to see them. When events demand that i see someone, talk to them, i will plan it out soon in the future.

I think this is something i have talked about in the past, the notion of selfishness. The way you need to take care of yourself first, within limits. Self care is needed in order to be able to care for others. To quote one of my favorite shows "You try to fix the world but you're the ones that are broken."

To a degree that is what i am doing now. Normally i try to be the person who is always there for their friends and family. I tend to have an impressive amount of patience but for now i am doing things that make me feel good. I am letting myself be a little more selfish with my time and spend it in the places that really make me happy.