So this is a post that actually hasn't been a long time coming. Rather it is something that i want to write about now because it came up the other night when i was talking to a friend of mine and well... It seems like a good blog post to offer up to the world.
As i have and will continue to state over and over i practice some Zen Buddhist practices, and generally believe the same things as Buddhists do. Now me, i am a passionate person, i tend to get really involved with things that i think about, like say politics (DOWN WITH THE CONSERVATIVES!!!) or women's rights, or music (ROCK ON BNL).
So i tend to also get angry often and fast, but most of the time i am very good at letting go of my emotions before they do something negative. Namely, i am a master of chillaxin and takin a break. As such, even though i get angry about things people think of me as a happy person because i usually have a big goofy grin on my face (unless i am getting\taking a picture).
Meanwhile when i was talking to a friend of mine the other night at work about how stressed out she was getting and how it was effecting her life. She has been having trouble sleeping and getting close to a breakdown (interesting isn't it how that place seems to eat people's souls for snacks?).
I took a few moments before ranting at her to consider why she is stressing herself out so much that she is suffering from insomnia. And this is what i came up with, the society that we live in is one which promotes flaunting your suffering. It isn't enough to have a job, it has to be a job that you complain about. Your best friend isn't just the person who you have known the longest, they are also the person you talk to about your significant other (aka complain to).
What is with the obsession with the negative we all seem to have? Why does everybody have to have some kind of problem in their life? And yes i know i spend most of my blog posts ranting about things that i want improved in my life and that this one will probably come off as me being all pissy that people can't handle their problems all 1950's style.
The issue here is that our lives aren't really that hard, i have known people who have rights for their angst and people who are making their problems worse than they actually are. Most of us fall into the second category. I can admit i do, my only real issue with life is that i am bound to a job that i don't like in any way shape or form. And even that i don't really mind most days, just when i have dodged meditation for a long time it starts to pile up.
So why do we flaunt suffering and carry it around with us wherever we go? Why is it that we want to suffer more than we want to be happy? The answer i come up with is simply that whoever has the most angst wins.
I'm gonna explain this with a story, back when i was a little kid i was in boy scouts and my mom was one of the leaders. (my mom is awesome by the way, and i know it despite how often we fight or argue, i know i could have it a lot worse)
Anywho there was this kid in the group who wasn't exactly liked by most people there, he was basically the negative opinion of most society when they think about those "damn kids". So most of us disliked him in the group as well yet for some reason my mom took time with him basically making him her favorite of us all. This bugged me at the time because i wanted to be my mom's favorite, but he was.
The way my mom explained it to me was that if i knew what he had been through i would understand but that she couldn't tell me. I think we have grown up on that idea, that the kids who had bad stuff happen to them deserve and often get special treatment. It is prevalent throughout the rest of society as well with the treatment of minorities as well (and i know i shouldn't really be saying this what with me being a white male in Canada).
But the problem with this is that as kids we don't really see it that way (or at least i didn't, maybe i am that different). Instead we see it as whoever complains the most gets treated special, and we start to carry our angst around with us. The problem is that because this behavior is learned so young people keep doing it throughout their teens, stressing themselves out to get special treatment.
There is a great episode of Scrubs covering this in season 6 where one of the characters is cruel to people all the time, yet whenever she goes to far simply says "my parents were mean to me" and people forgive and forget. Chips on the shoulder have begun to excuse any kind of behavior, even if they are of the person's own making.
If you check out the book Tuesdays With Morrie you will eventually get to the line that says basically (because i cannot remember it word for word) we live in a society where people get hurt all the time but it is acceptable to us because it is much harder for us to start our own society.
Well that's what i am trying to do, let go of my past pains and angst and move on. Come on people, come with me, put that chip down, and grab a plate of nachos instead.
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