That is the question i want to ask you, who are you? Who have you become in the past year? The past month? The past five minutes? Life is all about change, growth, new things. Every single time something happens to you it changes you, sometimes in the tiniest way possible, but it changes you.
That sandwich you ate for lunch? It changed you. It has become part of you in various ways, its energy became yours, its structures became yours. You become a piece of it. And the world circles on, never noticing because in the end no matter how much you change or grow it doesn't really matter.
And yes i am aware i sound all pissy and depressing. But let me explain, no matter what you do in which way or form it will not stop the universe from working or the world from turning. Instead you can do whatever (or whoever) you want and the world keeps going. It keeps turning on and on, and if you give yourself time your life will too.
And where i am at in life is a place where you are supposed to grow and change and realize more of who you are as you grow into yourself. Which is great, which is what i think needs to be done in every single person's life. You need to learn and grow and be open to change. You need to be ready to shift with things as we learn more.
But i find myself to be solid, kind of unchanging. I have learned a lot over the course of this year, but i haven't really changed. A little more outgoing, a little bit wiser and smarter. A little harder of heart, but who i am? Still the same. Still no change.
And as people around me realize who they are and learn and grow they develop i wonder who i am and when it is my turn. Instead i feel like i have traveled down a road and passed a fork i should have turned at. And now i have to figure out where it is before i travel too far and can't turn back...
ok so i just wrote a similar post on change and what have you.
ReplyDeleteand the thing is, your first year? it has changed you. even if you don't notice it right now. when you begin to rock out next year, you will be ASTONISHED by how much you have changed since the beginning of last year.
look around at the choices you make on a daily basis, the people you consider your closest friends, how you speak, what you have experienced this year for the first time, what you have learned that you didn't know before, the people you have met.
change isn't always obvious. and sometimes, it takes someone else pointing it out before you realize how different you are and how much you have grown. ask your friends to each write something about you that is different on a piece of paper and give it to you. you will be shocked.
in the short time i have known you, i have already noticed a change; a growth of sorts. you hold yourself differently, you speak softer and less bluntly and more honestly. you respect the opinions of others, while still holding your own strong.
plus, your life has changed monumentally in two ways:
-you are now addressed as farm boy
-you have met me. and i am teaching you how to live.
so in short, you have become infinitely more awesome!